Nuclear War Killed All Life On Mars And Yup, There Were Totally Aliens On The Red Planet


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BY @CH

 

Nuclear war on the Red Planet could be a great band name or the title of a pulp comic, but it’s actually the premise of a “research paper” by an “expert” published in a “scientific journal.” Dr. John Brandenburg published his magnum opus, “Evidence of a Massive Thermonuclear Explosion on Mars in the Past, the Cydonian Hypothesis and Fermi’s Paradox,” in the Journal of Cosmology.

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We live in an age where science fiction has edged closer to reality. Discoveries like the “God particle” and the tease of primordial gravitational waves are enough to evoke a sense of awe and wonder. Most recently, the European Space Agency’s Rosetta spacecraft managed to place a lander on a comet hurtling through space. But that’s nothing compared to the persistent belief that life is out there, somewhere.

“Taken together, the data requires that the hypothesis of Mars as the site of an ancient planetary nuclear massacre must now be considered,” reads the abstract of Brandenburg’s paper. “Fermi’s Paradox, the unexpected silence of the stars, may be solved at Mars. Providentially, we are forewarned of this possible aspect of the cosmos. The author therefore advocates that a human mission to Mars is mounted immediately to maximize knowledge of what occurred.” Bet you never thought you’d see the phrase “planetary nuclear massacre” as part of what is supposed to be scientific research.


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There’s a lot to unpack here, but it’s part of Brandenburg’s larger hypothesis that a humanoid civilization once lived on Mars. The “theoretical plasma physicist” wrote a book, “Dead Mars, Dying Earth,” and uses photos and data collected by NASA to develop the “Cydonian Hypothesis.” Part of the problem is that it’s based on so-called evidence that has long been debunked by actual science.

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